7th November 2010
Hi my name is Hip-Hop Bob, and this is my story. Unlike so many pigs my mother gave birth to me in a huge pile of perfectly placed straw. My mum Eliza had spent many a painstaking hour getting it just right, moving a piece here, taking a mouthful there. You see mother pigs would naturally spend hours, even days on end making a nest out of grass, branches, sticks and twigs to give their piglets somewhere safe to live when they are first born. I remember popping out, blinking in the sunshine, breathing fresh air, sniffing all around, then I remembered I was a pig and… food…. where is the food? Us pigs looooooooooove food, and just being born is no excuse, so chow time. I just knew to crawl through the straw nest, over mum’s legs, around my siblings until I found one of Mum’s teats and claimed it mine. We each took our own teat and to this one we would return each feeding time.
Two days later, we watched Emma, Mum’s best friend start making her nest, and we knew that we would not be the only piglets in town anymore. We totalled 16.
Time went by, and as we started to grow so did our curiosity. My buddies and I used to go on adventures around the farm. The fences around here are really good, but us piglets were really smart and we just love exploring new things. Every day we would venture a little further to see what was around the corner, but any sight or sound of our human friends would send us scurrying back to the sanctity of our mothers and we would put on our very best ‘wasn’t me’ looks. One day we found out that there was a very convenient ‘cat’ door into the feed room. We snuck our way in, checking left and right to make sure no one spotted us. We did not know places like this existed. Bags upon bags of yummy delicious food were piled one upon another reaching skyward. But how to get these sealed bags open. Well we had strength in numbers, 8 on one side, 8 on the other and one, two, three… pull! We heard a rip, again, again, one, two, three and there it was 40kg of delicious oats poured out of the bag, eureka we all oinked. We rolled in it, slid in it, played in it, but then we heard it, the screeching of metal as the feed room door slowly inched open. Quick places everyone, you know the drill, if we stand here really really still maybe they will not notice 16 piglets dripping oats from their mouths. Alas you humans proved smarter than we thought! The gig was up, but we had another plan. Us pigs are also really really fast and one by one we ran through their legs, round the corner, under the fence and back to the safety of our house. Piglets 1, Humans 0.
We became famous and people came from everywhere to see us. This funny bald guy would conduct tours of the farm and always brought people in to meet us and he would teach them all about pigs. He explained how we love mud, not because we are dirty animals, far from it he would say. The reason we love mud, he would say in his funny South African accent, is because pigs cannot sweat, rolling about in the mud gives us pigs a wonderful mud pack he would explain. Adding that it acts as a natural sunscreen and insect repellent. That pigs are the cleanest of animals, choosing a toilet area and never going to the toilet close to where they sleep, is one of our hallmarks. Oh and pigs love to have their bellies rubbed and we are very smart, smarter than many dogs. Studies have shown we can even outperform chimpanzees at computer games and Professor Donald Broome reckons we are as smart as a 3 yr old child. Kyle, that’s the funny bald guy, taught us all to sit – the people on the tours just loved this. My buddies and I caught on pretty quickly, all we had to do was sit and they would feed us Wheet-Bix after Wheet-Bix after Wheet-Bix. Piglets 2, Humans 0.
I took a real shine to showing people how clever us pigs are so I decided to become an ambassador pig, travelling around Victoria as part of Edgar’s Mission Kindness Tour. I have made it my personal mission to show people that pigs really aren’t that much different from cats and dogs. Sure we may look different, but we each have a different personality, we love to play, we love to hang out with our friends and we don’t like being hurt. When I’m not out and about, I hang out with my buddies – Popcorn, Mikey, Polly and Rumpelstiltskin. That funny bald guy and the lady with the hat, take good care of us giving us fresh fruits and vegetables (watermelon is our favourite), they even installed swings for us to play on and a slide into our wallow.
I hope to meet you soon – check out where we will be next, book a tour or come to an open day.
Love, your friend, Hip-Hop Bob, Oh by the way my full name is Hip-Hop Bob’stein like Einstein because I’m so smart. You think a pig that can sit is clever, you should see what I can do now. But for now I’m outa here there goes Popcorn with a fruit bun… oink oink.